Can someone love forever

Forever: is there one great love?

It is arguably one of the most important questions that comes up over and over again when it comes to relationships. Does the one, true, great love really exist? The person who casts us under its spell forever and ever and whom we can love for a whole life? We'll try to get to the bottom of the matter.

"Forever Yours forever Mine forever us". This was not only written by Ludwig van Beethoven to his loved ones, it is best known to us as the oath of love between Carrie and Mr. Big from “Sex and the City”. What nicer words could one find for the expression of eternal love? But regardless of whether you are currently in a happy relationship or looking for a partner as a single, at some point the question arises in you whether there is such a thing as love. And if so, only once?

By the way: If you want to reread the love vows of great men in letters to their lady of heart like Carrie Bradshaw, you will find the right book on Amazon.

Belief in great love and everyday reality

That great love really does exist is a widespread assumption, especially among people who have just fallen in love. Logical: the butterflies flutter in the stomach, the mind goes on a roller coaster and yet again and again comes to one goal: Him, only him. The rose-colored glasses make the world better, love stronger and let our mind sink into a kind of high state. The great love MUST exist when you feel so intoxicated! Or?

After a few weeks or months, however, the first, big fall in love is gone. What is left behind is, in the best case, stable, adult love with a high level of trust that will expand and deepen over the years. But the fight against everyday life and, it has to be said quite frankly, against possible feelings for someone else, no matter how short they are, get in the way of the supposedly perfect relationship and the feeling of having found great love . In the long run, the relationship can suffer so much that at some point it is better to end it. Even if it breaks your heart to have to give up the thought of this great love.

What is the secret of long-term relationships?

If you look at older generations, you notice that they seem to have one thing ahead of us: they know how to keep a love going. So you seem to have found the great love and a secret to keep it.

What this is is actually obvious. They understood that love is something dynamic. Love never stands still, but, like ourselves, is subject to an eternal process of change. It always has to be redefined, to meet new demands and circumstances. And you have to be aware of that. It's never just all sunshine, eternal happiness just doesn't exist, as nice as it might be. If you want to maintain a relationship for a long time, you always have to work on the classic pillars. Above all, this includes addressing problems and worries openly immediately and being prepared to compromise. Eternal life for two requires sacrifice, and that is natural. But what you are rewarded with can be worth all the effort.

But even if this formula seems simple now, life is not that simple after all. Not even with older couples. The divorce rate in Germany is over 40 percent. Long-term relationships included. Should one give up the search for the one great love right away?

There is no ONE great love

To put it bluntly: Yes, one should give up the search for the one great love. But that is not meant as pessimistic as it sounds now. On the contrary: The point here is not to write off the love completely, but only the fact that there can only be ONE great love in life. Incidentally, psychologists also agree on this.

So if a relationship has broken up, even though you have firmly assumed that you have found the one great love with this partner, then you should not be discouraged. This unique, intoxicating feeling of intimate love and affection can come again, there can be a second great love or even more. Just never make the mistake and make personal happiness dependent on it. In the best case scenario, your first great love should be for yourself.

Image sources: iStock / shironosov, iStock / Dobino, iStock / andrej_k, via giphy